28 April, 2010

• Something Meaningful

       I have been reading  Women, food and God latley and I am going to tell you, it's making me think. It's not the normal self help book. It wants you to look inside yourself for the answers and not to what your addiction/compusion/obsession is. It's making me take a hard look at where things went awry for me.

       I can give you just a few serious times in my life where I was in the blackest pits. But, the point is while I was in those blackest pits I learned how to beat myself up. Tell myself things that aren't true. And, I learned those lessons so well I became a shell of who I really am. I distrusted those who loved me the most, I withdrew from everyone, and fought hard to keep them away. I still do this, but It's something I am working on.

       I have seriously been blessed with a loving family, and even more devoted friends. I do not have a TON of really close friends. I tend to keep them at arms length. And, that is not thier fault it's mine and something I want them to know I am really trying hard to fix. There are so many people in my life that have made a diffrence that If I sat here and wrote about one till I finished I could type for the next five years and go though two people. I am very closed up about I feel. And, this book is helping me see that. Why am I posting this? I have no idea LOL

       But, thank you for reading all that drivvel. And, I really do apologize if it makes no sense but I suppose I wrote it to get it out of my head and on paper so it would be real. Err screen, not paper, oi!

  

   

   

  • 11:38 PM
  • 2 Comments