25 August, 2010

  • Madness

         i have to say that life has taught me some wonderful lessons but the most valuable lesson I have ever learned is to go on. To not only get up and brush myself off but to take that step. It has not been easy. I thought when I was little things were difficult, and granted they were, however Life and God have shown me how disastrous life can be. He has also used each instance to help me learn to carry on and be a survivor. Not, to dwell too much. To remember what I went though so I would remember the lesson but, to be able to let go just enough so I can move on.

        Some people in my life would not agree that I have moved on. Some think I squarely root myself in the past. That is not the case. I have moments that the past hits me and I dwell on it. I consider that mourning. You can mourn something your whole life but not be controlled by it. I mourn then I take a deep breath and put it away until it surfaces again. I don't know if this is a defense mechanism but I believe it is. I believe that it is my way of coping with tragedy in my life.

         I have to say while some events have been tragic some have been wonderful. I am a very lucky woman. VERY lucky! I thank God for all he has given me.

        How can I say both? It seems to contradict itself doesn't it? Well, in some ways it does in others, it doesn't you have to have heartache to know what love is, you have to have failure before you can taste success. You have to have one side of the coin to learn how valuable the other is. The point is to never forget either. To look at the lessons then cherish the blessings.

     

    I still say if i dwell ed on it all i would be mad :)

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